VICTIM AND THE JUDGE; DEPRESSION

Do you ever hear a voice in your head giving you a hard time about something you've done or failed to do? Making you beat yourself up to the point you think yourself a failure? I know I have. 

We tend to be very hard on ourselves when we find that choices made/ words said have a "negative" impact or weren't received well by others. It probably rubbed someone the wrong way or was taken out of context and we look for ways to ease the discomfort and they usually err on the negative.

What exactly happens? 

What causes us to value the opinion of others more than ours?

What makes us trust another person's opinion over our own?

Do they really know better than we do?

Are their decisions more informed than ours?

I have a theory and I believe it has a lot to do with the mindset inculcated in us ever since we were born. We were taught to behave a certain way when around people (the dos and don'ts), what to say, how to say it and when to say it. Being our true selves is considered wild and therefore we have to be tamed and this is how the judge and the victim are born. We have two dominating voices in our head much like the -devil and the angel over the shoulder- scenario we used to see in cartoons conflicting.

The victim is the part of ourselves that finds faults in everything outside of ourselves; that makes us feel crappy about the outside world, that complains about how "unfair" the world is. Even when one can learn from circumstances, the victim-mindset poisons the mind into not recognizing it and we end up missing an opportunity to learn in order to better the odds. The victim is the part that blames others.

The judge is the one the one that tends to make us blame ourselves for everything; whenever something goes wrong there's always someone to blame and that someone is usually us. 

This isn't something that we would naturally do but considering the values and societal views ingrained in us, we tend to either victimize ourselves or judge ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I am not against societal values. Most have shaped us to be who we are and we couldn't be prouder but some have poisoned us to a point and the best thing we can do is to set ourselves free.

The best advice I would give someone is to free their mind from any negativity. I know it's easier said than done but how about if  you do this: focus on the positive aspects of life, learn to be grateful. Every time you wake up and pray, may a major part of your prayer be gratitude and every time you lay your head to rest may your prayer be that one of gratitude.