DOES IT REALLY MAKE SENSE

Disclaimer: This is based on my opinion and experiences and those of others that I've gotten a privilege to get their insight on this particular topic.

I was thinking on the concept of love/ marriage and we had a somewhat epiphany. 

Why do people get married? But first we will start with love. How or why do people fall in love? Has a partner ever asked you, "why do you love me?" What exactly happens to you when someone asks that question/ what goes on in your mind?

Why do you love them as much as you do? This is a question we need to ask ourselves whenever we feel our hormones raging. Why them? I think it's important to ask ourselves this, because then we won't struggle as much as we do with relationships. 

You can chose to love someone purely based on hormones or you can choose to love someone based on hormones and logic (highly recommended and let's be honest, attraction has to be there).

When you love someone based on purely hormones, you can't even explain why you love them. You don't even know why you love them!! The usual answers are: you make me happy; I don't know why I love you, I just do; etc. But when logic is involved, you take into consideration who this person is: their character, their value, their thought process, how they handle themselves in different situations. 

You get to really understand what you are getting yourself into and whether you do have the capacity to handle it.

Most people can see the value that their partners bring to the table: emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, financial, social, sexual just to mention a few. But they ignore the cons that come with the pros. Tonnes of us have been advised to always  make a list of the pros and the con(s) and if the pros are more than the con(s), then it's a good deal. Now relationship wise I believe that it's not the number of pros and con(s) that we need to consider but, the weight of the pros and con(s). If the pros outweigh the con(s), then we're good. But the problem comes in when the con(s) outweigh the pros. Why?

Most people do not want to accept that the con(s) are waaaay too heavy for them to bear and they fixate on the pros. This becomes an issue because however much we want to be with our partner, the subconscious is indeed aware of the con(s), and we find ourselves picking a fight over let's say, a bad habit that you've constantly told them off about. And I'm not talking about a habit that you can tolerate; a "dirty socks on the floor" kinda habit. I'm talking about a habit that you have clearly stated you are unable to tolerate but yet they cannot bring themselves to make that sacrifice of stopping it. Something that truly irritates you to the core and they are aware. 

Now that is usually the biggest con that most of us have to deal with. The pros are very numerous but this big Goliath of an issue is what causes a lot of issues in partnerships and/or marriages.

I feel people get into serious relationships hoping for it to end in marriage. Right? What is marriage? Isn't it a partnership between two people involving a "lifetime" contract in the form of a certificate? Why do we need to make our partnerships legal? (So to speak). I think it's because we feel the need to "patent" our loved ones so they can never be "used" by others.

We feel the value they bring to our lives is so precious, that we do not want to lose it and neither do we want anyone else, to experience this degree of value we are getting from our partner. 

But how can you patent something that you cannot trust however "valuable" you might think it is? The concept of relationship to me is like hanging yourself by the neck with hands tied, and hoping your partner doesn't kick the chair. I think this because, once you put your faith and trust in a person without considering the con(s), this person has an advantage of making your life a living hell. There's a reason for the quote "behind every strong person there's a strong(er) partner"